


Dukeceit Failed Soulmate AU

by IamTrashQueen



Series: Sanders Sides Ficlets and One Shots [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, failed soulmate au, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28739772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IamTrashQueen/pseuds/IamTrashQueen
Summary: Req: “A prompt that's on the fluffier side: "You've been running for so long, it's time to take a break, darling. Let someone else take care of you for once.“”Warnings: homelessness I guess?? Remus runs awaySomeone suggested I made this a fic, so I’m going to make it a short fic (a few chapters).Also the soulmate AU I’ve chosen is kind of Beauty and the Beast inspired. Basically, you have a flower, in which each petal falls each year you get closer to meeting your soulmate. You can’t peel off petals yourself; they’ll just regrow.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides Ficlets and One Shots [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2104941
Comments: 5
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

Remus hadn’t exactly had the brightest past. He wasn’t proud of it, and he didn’t like talking about it, despite normally being an open book. Maybe that was why he ran. He was tired of everyone knowing everything. Tired of everyone pretending they knew him. 

The morning after a late drunk night, Janus had found the poor thing sleeping in his car, sleeping in a hotel parking lot with their head on the wheel. He had lightly knocked on the window, only for Remus to sprint up, slamming their head back against the car seat before they looked around, tired eyes landing on Janus. He huffed softly. Probably a hotel manager or something, wanting him to leave the premises. He rolled down the window, already opening his mouth to speak, but Janus cut in before him. 

“How long has it been since you slept in an actual bed?” He asked. 

Remus’s eyebrows rose at that in a bit of surprise. He didn’t know why it mattered to the stranger. He purses his lips, looking back at his dashboard vaguely, just not wanting to look at the stranger. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “Three, four weeks maybe?” 

The man frowned at the response. “Want me to buy you a room?” he offered. “I’m assuming you’re not looking for a stranger’s couch to sleep on,” he muttered under his breath. 

“Please?” Remus choked out, looking back to the other, not sure why the word was so difficult to get out. “Either is fine. It’s just be... nice not to have to sleep in my car for a night,” he mumbled. 

The man flashed a short and kind smile. “I’m Janus. Follow behind my car. It was the one parked next to yours,” he remarked before standing up straight again and walking behind the car, heading to his own. He drove for about fifteen minutes down the road before turning, checking in his rear view mirror to make sure Remus was still following. 

He parked his car in the driveway to his house, Remus parking on the edge of the street. Remus didn’t exactly trust Janus, but he didn’t exactly care at this point as he followed Janus into the house. He stood awkwardly as Janus shut the door behind him then turned on the lights. “Kick off your shoes and make yourself at home. I’ll get you some blankets.” As Janus left, Remus still felt awkward, and he was honestly considering just walking back out the door. But he kicked off his shoes, too tempted by the idea of sleeping with an actual blanket in a half-comfy place. He sat down on the couch, bouncing his leg as he waited for Janus to come back. 

Soon enough, Janus did come back, blankets in tow. He set the small stack on the coffee table in front of the couch. “Now you didn’t actually think I was going to have you sleep on the couch, were you? My bed’s empty. You can take it while I start cooking you a hot meal,” Janus murmured. “Bathroom is connected right to it, if you want to shower or anything—“ 

“No, no thank you. The couch is fine. You don’t have to do any of that,” Remus finally interjected with. “You’re doing plenty by giving me a place to rest up.” Janus, though slightly upset at the response, nodded. He understood what it was like not to want to ask for help. He passed Remus the blankets, who politely only took one before laying down on the couch, in a somewhat curled position to fit their lengthy body. They were out in a few minutes tops, and Janus laid an extra blanket across the man. 

By the time a few hours passed, Remus had began to stir. Janus had been cooking in the kitchen, because even if Remus still refused the extra help, he had to eat too. Remus gently pushed his blankets away and sat up. Would it be rude to just leave? Should he say a goodbye? He wasn’t exactly sure what the protocol for this was. Hell, maybe he should’ve pretended to be asleep. But he could hear Janus in the nearby room and stood up, wandering over. Janus tapped the cooking untensil against the pot, letting a few bits of the food drip back into it before setting it on a napkin on the counter. “Good to see you’re up, dinner’s almost done,” he said, turning to face Remus with a smile. “I don’t believe I ever caught your name? Is there something you’d like to be called?” 

Remus was still unsure why the stranger hadn’t just kicked him out, but he couldn’t exactly deny the way his stomach growled when he smelled Janus’s delicious cooking. Maybe it wasn’t that yummy, but Remus was practically starving, anything edible would be good with him. “I, uh, Remus. I’m Remus,” he answered. 

“Well then, Remus,” Janus started, “care to join me for a chat and dinner? I’m sure you’ve got a story behind that pretty face.”

Remus blinked, still honestly unsure of his perception of reality at the moment. Did Janus really just say he had a pretty face? Remus wouldn’t have ever thought so. “Sure. Yeah. That sounds good,” he answered, moving to take a seat at one of the chairs at the dining room table. Pour your heart out to a stranger in exchange for a hot meal? It sounded like a fair deal to Remus. At least it’d provide the man some entertainment. 

Oddly, Janus didn’t ask too many questions, more concerned with reminding Remus to “eat up.” But from what Janus had gathered, Remus had decided he wasn’t a good enough partner for his last lover, ditched the town, and didn’t plan on ever looking back. Well, at least in Remus’s view of it all. Janus couldn’t help but doubt that Remus was leaving because he wasn’t good enough. He just didn’t seem good at love in the first place. 

When the meal was finished, Remus thanked the other, deciding against asking for a second helping. But Janus already seemed to be a bit of a mind reader, or maybe he could just guess by how long the man had been sleeping in his car. “Would you like a second bowl?” he asked. Remus had answered a “no, thank you” in response, already sure he’d taken up far too much of Janus’s day. Somehow, in some odd way, Janus had convinced him to stay, just a while longer, but Remus didn’t stay for most of the day. He’d come back at night to sleep, but he was absolutely beyond minimalist with his needs. Remus still refused to sleep anywhere except the couch, though Janus offered his bed numerous times. Janus hadn’t ever minded the other’s company, he just wished he’d stop being so stubborn. 

So a few months into this schedule, Janus had caught Remus in the early morning, convincing him to stay for breakfast. Which was just a trap, but Remus sort of already guessed as much. “Remus, can I be honest with you?” Janus asked. 

“I don’t see why not,” Remus remarked bluntly, getting up to put his cereal bowl in the sink, rinsing it out while he was there. 

Janus nodded slowly, trying to pick his next words carefully. “I think you’re running because you’re more scared to mess things up than you actually have messed things up.” He paused for a moment, watching as Remus turned back to him, clear frown on his face. 

“I did not run away because I was scared!” 

Janus stood, stepping up close to the other, but still an good few inches away. “I think you don’t want to admit you’re scared to ask for help too. You screwed up something good already. You don’t want to screw something else up,” Janus added, careful to be gentle with the way he spoke, though he knew the words themselves weren’t. 

“Janus,” the other hissed, crossing his arms and looking away from the other. “Stop. It.” 

A total hit, Janus could guess. “You’ve been running for so long, darling. It’s time to take a break. Let someone else take care of you for once,” he whispered softly, reaching to tilt Remus’s face back towards him. And Remus’s eyes began to water, his bottom lip quivering, never good at hiding his feelings. He allowed for Janus to pull him into a hug, tight and comforting as he let out a few quiet sobs. 

Remus would get better. Janus would make sure of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Unluckily, but not shockingly, that proved to be more challenging than Janus enjoyed. 

The next morning, Remus was gone again, before Janus had even awaken. Maybe Janus should’ve expected it, but something in him had hoped Remus wouldn’t leave. But by now, Janus sat at the table, unsweetened coffee in front of him, hands folded as he looked forward blankly. He let out a sigh, muttering a curse, and pressing the palm of his hand to his eye and brow, letting his head rest against it for a moment. The dinging of the doorbell echoing the house made him sit up stiffly, looking to the door before hearing it go off again. 

He climbed out of his chair, stepping over and unlocking it, already assuming it was the mailman, but instead found Remus standing at the door. Remus hadn’t exactly planned that far, and stood there with nothing to say while Janus waited. Luckily, Janus at least broke the silence, making it a bit less awkward. “So... did you miss me?” Janus joked softly, moving out of the way to let Remus step in. Remus let out an amused breath and stepped into the living room. 

Janus didn’t ask and Remus didn’t answer. There was some sort of unspoken mutual agreement that what had happened had happened, and if Remus wanted to tell, they would. Instead, Janus made some hot tea, getting Remus a cup with plenty of sugar, and Remus had gone to sit outside on Janus’s porch swing. Janus had followed them out a few minutes later, a folded blanket tossed over his arm as he made his way over to Remus, unfolding it and putting it over the other’s shoulders. And Remus smiled a bit at the gesture, glancing back at Janus for only a moment before looking back over to Janus’s yard. “He treated me well, you know,” Remus spoke softly. 

“You don’t have to tell me, Remus,” Janus reminded gently, ready to continue about how it was fine if Remus didn’t want to talk, but Remus spoke first. 

“I know. I want to,” they answered clearly. “Logan was a sweetheart. Made sure to get up quietly just to make sure not to wake me. He was organized, and smart, and so considerate. Everything he was, I wished I could be. At least for him. But... I don’t know. Something in me knew that though he’d say he’d love me, he couldn’t. I wasn’t for him. And it was no fault of his nor mine—I know that now, I didn’t then, but I know it now—but I wouldn’t have ever made him happy in the way he deserved,” Remus rambled, shaking their head some as they spoke, managing to shake just enough to slosh the tea in his cup up to the edge, just a droplet running down the side. 

Janus merely listened, nodding along, before moving to sit next to Remus on the bench, looking over at them with full interest in their every word. 

Remus let out a heavy breath before speaking again. “You know what I think?” 

“Never,” Janus remarked lightly, a soft smile on his face. 

The other turned, pressing their knees onto the cushion of the bench as they looked at the other. “I think we’ve built up this idea that soulmates are supposed to be forever. Our only loves,” Remus murmured, looking down a bit before speaking again. But I think... well, I think Logan was my first love. I think I was his too. I don’t think we were supposed to last,” Remus theorized, running their finger over the rim of their glass. “Does that sound crazy? Do I sound crazy?” Remus asked, pausing their finger as they glanced back up at Janus, waiting for confirmation or denial. 

“I don’t think it’s that far out there,” Janus answered with a soft shrug. “I don’t think it makes sense for me to have a soulmate that would die before I ever got to meet them. Maybe soulmates aren’t as much about love as they are about teaching us something... maybe about ourselves.” 

Stunned for a moment, Remus didn’t answer. How stupid it must’ve been to have never asked about Janus and his soulmate. Remus had never even thought to ask about it. “I’m sorry,” Remus breathed out, not entirely sure what to say. “That you had to go through that... I mean...” 

“You shouldn’t be,” Janus answered. “It’s been a few years. Nearly ten. I’m okay now. I’m more sorry for them than I’ll ever be for myself.” 

“But didn’t you... didn’t you love them?” 

Laughing softly, Janus peered around for a moment before answering. “Loved them? I never met them. Falling in love isn’t the only thing to life, you know,” he murmured. “I wish I had met them. I wish they could still be here. But all I know is... one day, I saw the flower, and it had... diminished. Into nothing more than ash. A little research, and I knew what had happened.” 

“Did you cry?” Remus asked softly. 

“For a few days, yes.” 

“Huh.” 

“You’re not as alone as you might think, Remus.” 

“I know. I have you.” 

“You’ll always have me. I’m not going anywhere,” Janus answered with a fond smile, leaning his head onto the edge of the top piece of the swing. 

“You can’t get rid of me if you tried,” Remus answered playfully. “I’ll drag you back by your toes if I have to.” 

“Oh, woe is me, guess I’ll just have to deal with a gremlin running through my house every night,” Janus joked, making some dramatic gestures. And they both laughed, soft and gentle, both still scared to break into the ice and plunge into the cold water that was underneath. 

But that was okay. For today, they could be careful, watching the sun shift throughout the day, and neither staying inside very long until the stars had long since littered the sky, warm breaths fogging up the cool air until neither could stand it any longer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for minor character death (I was gonna make it one of the sides but... I couldn’t hurt y’all that much), car crash, and cigarette usage   
> I have officially decided Remus is also going to be aroflex :))  
> It’s a term I coined, figure out more here: https://on-fic-writing-spree.tumblr.com/post/640968120429887488/so-many-flags-i-love-em-all  
> Anti-mogai DNI cause :)) I don’t care  
> Also if you don’t like self-projection byeee cause that’s all my stories are lmao  
> It’s not really gonna be mentioned too much, just more so implied :)

Janus shoved his hands into his jacket pockets as he walked down the street, cigarette between his teeth, though he didn’t really take drags of it. Occasionally, he’d slip it away from his lips to tap away some ash. He didn’t exactly have a taste for smoking, but between that, the hunched shoulders, and resting bitch face, people tended to leave him alone. 

The winter breeze breathed like ice in Janus’s face, but he merely curled in on himself a bit more, tugging his jacket closer together. He should’ve thought to zip it up before he walked out. But it was only down to the corner that his car was parked, already in view. In less than a moment later of Janus glancing down at the ground, the same few feet ahead, tires screeched on the half-iced pavement, and a car swerved into view on the road road ahead, skidding on the ice before rolling onto its side. Janus stood stunned for a mere second before spitting out his cigarette, stomping it out and walking towards the car. He started to cross the street in a diagonal manner, only two steps in before another car came down the road, unable to stop before it slammed into the previous car, crushing the top of the car in. 

And suddenly, the world felt quiet, but far from silent. There was a constant buzz of chatter, but Janus couldn’t understand any of it. Someone bumped his shoulder and knocked him forward an inch, and Janus vaguely noticed the phone out in one hand with the video up along with a few other bystanders going to help the person in the second-crashed car. He glanced around, feeling like he wasn’t supposed to be there. As if the sky itself was a roof ready to crash in on him. His breaths hung heavy in the air, coming out as pants more than anything. And then there’s was a tap on his shoulder. When he turned, though, there was nothing to here. 

A strange sense filled him, and he felt his legs move below him before he registered for the most to do so. When he became aware he was moving, he picked up on his pace, his feet slamming across the pavement until he found himself barreling into a set of woods, tumbling and letting himself collapse fully under a group of trees. He stared at the sky, watching the breeze shift through the leaves and branches of the trees, the sun hiding somewhere behind them. 

For a vague moment, Janus not being fully there, he watched the wind whistle through the branches until it dawned on him; It was winter, those trees weren’t supposed to have leaves on them. 

Sitting up, he looked around, clawing his fingers into the grass and dirt below him. He’d been here before. But he couldn’t place when, how, or why. Just that he had been, or some notion of him had been. 

With the memory, Janus’s reality began to shift, and he found himself sitting up in his bed, his breathing uneven as he stared at his door. It had been three years since he’d last had that dream. So why was it coming back now? 

Janus kicked and pulled away his blankets, stepping out of bed and hissing softly at the cold wood against his feet. He should really get the room carpeted—he’d always hated the cold. He stepped over to his desk, snatching his laptop up before scurrying back to the warmth of his bed. He pulled the screen up, clicking onto google and tapped on the search bar, tapping at some keys before scrolling down, eyes fixated on the screen in front of him. His eyes flickered across it while he scrolled, the palm of his hand upholding his chin, his fingers curled to be pressed up against his face just below his bottom lip. He opened a few of the links, many already purple from having clicked before. Headlines for a car crash in 2013 read in large letters, but Janus mostly ignored that in favor of looking at the pictures, carefully studying each one. 

There were many things Janus was, and among them, was a liar. 

He knew his soulmate before they died in the crash. 

Well, at least he knew them drunk. 

—   
Janus hissed and cursed quietly at the coffee that that he had spilled onto his hand, letting the pot drop onto the counter and shaking his hand while he reached for the kitchen towel. He was so out of it, he couldn’t even pour his own cup of coffee without messing that up. And though Janus knew it had only been a week and a half since his last ‘sick days’ (in other words, days he took off because he wanted to be there when Remus got back) he knew he couldn’t go to work like this. He sighed and pulled out his phone, towel balled partially in his fist as it rested against his hip. He scrolled through some contacts before tapping one and calling, giving some fake excuse of feeling ‘below the weather’ and asking if it was possible to get someone else to cover his shift for him. He tapped the red button on the screen as Remus stepped into the doorway. 

“Everything alright, Janny?” Remus asked, crossing their arms as they looked over the other. “You know I’m not a great cook, but I’m sure I can heat up a can of Campbell’s soup without setting your microwave on fire.” Janus had still been spacing out, not aware of the moment when Remus was speaking. Remus stepped over, whistling in two half breaths, on higher and one slightly lower while waving a hand in Janus’s face. “Earth to Janus, come in Janus,” they joked lightly, smiling a bit when Janus’s head snapped towards them. “Damn. You really are out of it, huh?” 

“What?” 

Remus ‘tsk’ed a few times softly, shaking their head before wrapping one arm around Janus, their other resting on the shoulder closest to him. “Come on. Let’s get you back to bed and somethi—” 

“I don’t want to go back to bed,” Janus interjected with sharply. “I can take care of myself Remus. You’re the only one who you need to be worried about, okay?” Janus added, a bit softer this time as he shrugged out of the other’s grip and slid in front of them. 

The other merely crossed their arms, an unamused look on their face as they rested more weight onto one side. “And what? You expect me to just... let it go? That easy? Nuh-uh, honey. You helped me. Let me help you.” 

Janus merely sighed at first in response, before looking at the other with a half-smile, a fond what-would-I-do-without-you look traced on his face. “Fine. But I’m not sleeping.”


	4. Chapter 4

_“Janus...”_

The voice echoed softly from behind Janus, a feather-light rap on his shoulder. There was some part of him that knew this wasn’t real, but he still couldn’t find himself moving or doing much else differently. 

But that voice...

 _”Janus...”_ it echoed quietly again. But it fell on deaf ears as Janus looked forward at the car crash. He wanted to stop himself, but he but he found himself unable, bolting back through the forest yet again. 

He hadn’t heard that voice in ten years. Not since he was 17. He was almost 27 now. 

It echoed again, softer, quieter... 

And Janus woke up. Staring at his ceiling blankly for a while before flipping his pillow to the cooler side and trying to sleep again. 

Progressively, the voice got louder and louder each dream, calling out to him. As the days went on, different short phrases became a bit more and more complex. The first one had been “Janus” and the most recent had ended with “you can’t hide it forever.” 

And Janus was starting to think he was going crazy. 

While Janus would love to deny he had any clue what that phrase meant, something about it wouldn’t leave his mind. He searched every other possible meaning for the phrase. But no, he knew what the voice meant. He knew what _their voice_ meant. And he’d do anything to make sure the voice was wrong. 

A knock at his bedroom door made him snap out of the thoughts. He set his tea down on his desk and called for Ree to come in, who hadn’t even waited for a response before swinging the door open. Ree was just like that, and Janus didn’t really mind. Ree strolled over to Janus’s bed, plopping herself there and crossing her legs. Before Janus could get a word out, ready to ask what Ree would like to talk about, Ree already started speaking, leaving Janus with his mouth open with no sound coming out for a moment before he closed it. “I want to go back.” 

Furrowing his eyebrows, Janus nodded a bit, his jaw locking up until he forced himself to calm down. He’d miss Ree, but if that’s what she wanted, he wouldn’t stop her. “If that’s what you want.” 

“I want you to come with me.” 

“You—what?” 

Ree threw her hands around in some nervous gestures as she continued to speak. “I mean, obviously not right this very second, you have work at like... ten if I remember correctly? But whenever you have time, and it’ll just be temporary of course. I want to go back. And I want to go back with you.” 

Janus blinked a few times, dumbfounded. He swiveled in his chair and lifted back up his tea, taking a tiny sip and gulping it down, but not setting back down the cup, having mainly wanted it for the comforting warmth the cup provided. “So... you want me to go back with you. Back to your soulmate? Do you want me to meet him?” 

Ree shook her head and stood up, slipping the cup from the other’s hand and sipping at it before cringing softly, her nose crinkling. No sugar. How disappointing. She handed the other back his cup while she began to speak again. “Not unless you want to. I just wanna visit again. See if there’s anything worth staying for. Making sure I’m making the right choice.” 

Janus nodded along softly, not minding when the other swiped his drink. At least she didn’t spit it back into the cup this time. “You have doubts?” he asked softly, tapping his first finger on his right hand lightly against the glass as he waited for an answer. 

“No. But I never do. So I just want to be sure.” 

Letting out a breath from his nose, almost a laugh, Janus smiled down into his cup. “Yeah. We can visit. Can we give it a couple weeks though? My boss’s patience is running thin with all the missing days. Says the company can’t function without me.” Half of that was played up, but Ree didn’t need to know that. 

“Yeah. We can wait a while. Maybe while I’m waiting I can work on making an actual resume.” 

“I’ll help you with it. Don’t worry too much about it, you’ll be fine,” Janus waves off lightly. 

Ree smiled at that. “Thanks Janny. You’re the best.” 

“I am, aren’t I?” Janus joked, though there wasn’t hint of mockery in his voice. Ree slipped back out of the room and shut the door behind her, and Janus swiveled back to face is desk, elbows resting on it as he stared ahead for a moment. 

“I’m totally, utterly fucked.” And if Janus didn’t know better, he would’ve sworn he heard that voice whisper “yeah you are” in the faintest echo behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs I listened to while writing this for anyone who’s curious: Twin Size Mattress, The Anthem, Never Say Never (Don’t Let Me Go), Over My Head, It Ain’t Me, Eastside, Bite, and from there’s it was just Whatever came on auto play lmao 
> 
> :)

Over the next few weeks, Janus and Remus has discussed it a bit more. They went ahead and wrote out Remus’s resume, so he’d be able to start applying to a few jobs when they came back. There was something about knowing Remus was coming back that calmed Janus’s nerves a bit. He’d never force Remus, but honestly? He couldn’t remember what life was like without him. 

Soon enough things were all set up and ready to go. Janus’s boss had given him the okay (which Janus was half-hoping for a ‘no’ about), and the two had packed for the most part, the day of their trip marked on the calendar that hung by the door, quickly approaching. 

And by now, they found themselves loading up the trunk of the car. They had since gone on a bit of a shopping spree for Remus, getting him some new clothes so he wouldn’t have to keep wearing Janus’s. Or well, that was the goal. But currently, Remus was still wearing one of Janus’s many stolen sweatshirts, worn out from Remus wearing it to bed all too often for the cheap material. Remus fidgeted with the strings as he rested in them passengers seat, staring down at them and out of focus. Janus lightly nudged the other with his elbow, flashing a reassuring smile at him before looking back in front of him, letting his wrists rest loosely over the steering wheel. “Something on your mind?” he asked. “You know we don’t have to go right? My boss will be happy to have me back in,” he joked softly. 

“No, no, it’s not that,” Remus remarked, looking at the other sharply and shaking his head. “I just... don’t know if I’m going to regret going back,” he sighed, letting his fingers let go of the hoodie strings and dropping his head against the window lightly. 

Janus hummed some, nodding along. “Well, what’s back there to regret?” he asked before putting the car in reverse, backing out of the driveway. If Remus was sure he wanted to go, even with the doubts, Janus had figured out by now that no doubts ever stopped Remus from doing something. Maybe that’s part of the reason Remus had been able to run away so easily. He just... never looked back. 

Remus shrugged some in response. “Everything. It’s a small town. Everyone knows everyone. Besides, I haven’t responded to a single one of my brother’s calls, or Logan’s for that matter. Word’s gonna travel fast and it’ll just... be the same thing all over again.” 

Janus blinked a few times before shifting the car back into drive, pulling out onto the main road. “Call your brother now. I didn’t know you hadn’t tal—“ 

“No,” Remus interjected sharply. “No, because if I do, I’m not going to want to go back, and I have some loose ends I have to tie up.” 

Janus hesitated slightly, only slightly visibly discomforted at the next thought, a grimace on his face as he turned his head away from the street for a split second. “Is this about Logan?” 

The silence already gave Janus the answer. 

“I’m sure he’d take you back, Remus,” Janus said gently, focusing on keeping his grip on the steering wheel loose, and his shoulders back, letting out a sigh of a breath as he turned on the highway. 

“It’s not that. I know he would. But I don’t want him back. I don’t think I do at least, but I just left him, y’know? He didn’t deserve that shit. And what? Now he’s going to live his whole life without someone? How fair is that?” Remus slumped more in his seat, a soft huff out of his nose fogging up the glass of the window Remus’s cheek was smushed against. 

“Don’t forget, you aren’t living with one either—“ 

Remus sat up fully and started to argue. “Yeah, Janus, but I made that choice! Logan didn’t get a choice. He just has to live with my dec—“ 

“Yeah, cause Logan would’ve been any happier knowing you weren’t?” Janus countered. “You haven’t told me everything, but he doesn’t seem the type to be just fine with that.” There was a soft thunk, no doubt Remus dropping his head back against glass, then came Remus’s quiet argument. “If he really loved you, he wouldn’t want to keep you in a relationship you didn’t want.” 

“I didn’t have to tell him I didn’t love him.” 

“Yes you did.” 

“He didn’t have to know... he could’ve been happy not knowing.” 

“Blissfully unaware? Do you think he wouldn’t’ve caught on?” Janus sighed softly. “You did the right thing. And maybe, just maybe he was feeling the same way. You might not second guess when someone’s not right for you, but do you think Logan’s the same?” 

Remus huffed softly. “Fine. You’re right. Is that what you want to hear?” 

“Sure,” Janus remarked, no clear care in the short response. He knew better than to play along in Remus’s pity party and self-sulking. He didn’t care as much about being right as much as he did that Remus knew that he shouldn’t have forced himself into a relationship he didn’t want to be in. 

— 

It had been a long few hours since they had started driving, and it’d still be a few more in the morning. Janus had made the suggestion they turn in early. They could get up early and that way they wouldn’t have to deal with the ‘there’s only rooms with a one bed available’ ordeal. Not that either would actually care, seeing as it’d already been something they had dealt with in Janus’s one-bedroom house (after Remus arguing that he wasn’t taking Janus’s bed, and Janus merely answering that he hadn’t said anything about sleeping on the couch), but there wasn’t a reason for it if they could avoid it. 

They had settled into the hotel room, only bringing up clothes for the night and morning after. After the two had changed into pajamas, they had decided on some random movie (by they, it really meant Remus) to put on. They had both sat on the bed that was closest to the tv, chatting some as it played. Janus had drifted off to sleep before Remus, so Remus opted for taking the other bed after pulling the blankets over Janus. 

Tomorrow they’d be back in Remus’s hometown. Remus didn’t let the thought keep him from sleeping. That was a worry for tomorrow. He’d deal with it all tomorrow.


End file.
